blindness

she looks at the twist in the road behind her. it's a gnarled road, like the branch of a tree that begs for someone to put it out of its misery and wrench it off its hinges. she stumbles. fuck. she tries to keep her eyes glued to the trail in front but...that damned road behind her sweats riveting tears; tears that meander tenderly across the rotting earth. leaving moist wetness all around. why can't she fucking look ahead. she can't see too far because her eyes are weak (despite the glassy contact lenses)but there might be an inkling, there ahead, of something in the light. she's not sure. when is anybody sure? she half-smiles - "sureness" is when you let yourself become brainless. is that terrible? no. maybe not. but how can you tell your brain to become brainless? stop being such a geek, she tells herself. you are lost in the middle of, of somewhere, and you're being such a nerd. look ahead and try to reach that thing in the light. she sighs, one of those sighs that have exasperated people in the past. what if there's another gnarled twisted wailing road ahead. she steps off the trail, muddies her boots and plunges into the darkness. no trail this time, you're half-blind already, might as well go blindly now, and see what you find.
(no it's not pms. i can only write when i'm feeling something, usually when i know i feel something but i'm not sure what it is, like now. been blah for a long time, today, wow, i don't want to stop!)