tired

tired, so tired

my soil, my grains, my leaves, my rocky shores sagging
my pines my olive trees my wicked wicked trees breathing
heavily
heavily
waves crash and recrash, and then shatter
like my hopes, that once were
and no longer are.

my people
wait a minute, who are my people?
those people, then.
those people who people my earth, my seas, my deepest crease
those people who stand, sit, turn and turn
are dizzy, so dizzy with turning
and fall, dizzy
to my grounds, in that same spot of eternal turning
and turmoil.

the blood oh the blood i have been drenched with
the blood i've been stained tainted rained drained with
the blood i pour out and drench with
it is that blood
yes that blood they talk about,
that runs thicker than my deepest darkest waters

red are my waters now
now, more than ever
fiery is the wind that brings our planted seeds
of destruction
that wind, i don't know where it's blowing from
but it is embalming my roots
yes my roots and i stumble on those uprooted roots
spilling my guttural cry
with pain such pain
at my losses that were
and still are
as i speak
what am i and what will i be
tomorrow?
a vision, a thought that was, a transient glory in the minds of many
am i really an illusion,
i want to be more much more
but how i cry, how how how?
let me be, no more
let me be that land, promised, not promised, non-compromised
that land i remember in dreams of wisps of memories
of people with eyes that can see
and not only that
but can see into a future
where i will still be