brief encounter

(stage left, i enter room)
(sitting far right, 77 year old man fidgets in chair) who are you?
(i walk in and sit across, grabbing chart) i'm the fellow. how have you been?
-i'm fine, how are you doing?
-I am fine. Has anything happened since you were here last?
-why? (leans forward) are you interested?
(i back off) from a medical perspective, yes.
-sooooo. where are you from?
-i'm lebanese and i'm from lebanon
-hmmm. i've been to lebanon in 1965.
-really?
-yes. i went to israel first to see what the christians were doing there, and i went to beirut to see what the playboys were doing there.
(cough)
(me, adopt stern look of a german helga) ok let me see your legs now
-ooooh. here, that's the best part of my anatomy
(i look at audience with the look of ok i didn't hear that but unfortunately i did so i will pretend i did not)
(poke poke poke but the legs don't pit)
-i'm coming back
(i walk out, come back with Dr R, stage left again)
(patient to Dr R) i'm trying to convince your fellow to let me take her to beirut
(Dr R jumps) we will NOT stand for such comments in THIS clinic! (sits) now show me your legs.
(music - stravinski - flight of the bumblebee - drones over exchange between Dr R and patient - exit Dr R, no handshake)
(man now addresses me as exiting) you know there's a large lebanese population in stl. they're tough. when they first came they drove out the mafia, they used guns and bombs and blew people up. (pause, walks away, then turns back) now they've become more civilized. some are actually fellows.
(exit patient)
(soliloquey) damn i wanna fire him