now what

there comes a point in life when decisions levitate and lurch around you when you want to be floating in the numbness of limbo but no they are relentless like the wind that seeps underneath the tightly sealed door of your bedroom and finds itself under your covers to glance a chill of awakening on your skin and disrupt your dreams. the chill wind is here. deal with it. damned decisions. the hell do i know where the wind will take me in 10 20 30 years. my weekends i want. my time alone i want. my time to take my time, i want. city life i want. visas be f---ed. cows i will not live with and corn i will not breathe. i cannot sleep because of that one day. the day i may wake up and look at a place i've slept and worked, and want to get the HELL out of. don't want no cabin fever.
where shall i blink wipe tears start smiles in the next 5 years?
the path what path will take me i have to carve it but i am tired and my roots are aching.