business

if you're gonna sell smthg make sure you don't speak english
catch them when they're hyperventilating and diaphoretic
make a show of your merchandise and keel over with the weight
dramatically swoon with the colourful one spread across your chest
gesticulate madly and hang it and push them into it

sink. swing.
and they'll buy the damn thing

and now it's swaying wrapped in its plastic behind the wooden commode, with the promise of one day being deployed, when the ceiling sprouts hooks